End of quality journalism

With so many news dailies and news channels available to us, the fourth-estate has entered an era of pure-play commercialism. What is appaling is the fact that this commercialism has come at the cost of quality. Each day I come across so many errors and mistakes, ranging from spellings and grammar to data and facts, in newspapers that I sometimes feel miserable about the entire state of affairs of the press. Having been associated with the fourth-estate at some point in life and the respect I have for the profession, the feeling of foreseeing the end of quality journalism is more dreadful.

These following two articles are excerpted from today's (December 10, 2009) Mumbai edition of The Economic Times (there might be more such discrepancies which I may have overlooked in the limited time I browse through the newspaper).

It's said that the way to get noticed is to do quality work - but somehow, my post brings to notice something exactly opposite.

Right to Revoke

A recent proposal at office has been the reason for much resentment as well as humour for the last couple of days. Realising that employees have started buying cars like hot-cakes and that the current parking space of over a hundered bays would not suffice with the growing demand, it has been proposed to reserve more than half the parking bays for officers above a particular grade. For the lesser mortals, the existing system of first come first park would continue to exist.

The reason for resentment revolves around the fact that why should there be a gradation in a world which is moving towards meritocracy. Why should people who reach the office early be not provided reserved parking spaces to accomodate the cars of people who come late and find it difficult to get a parking bay?

At the same time, the reason for humour revolves around the fact that people have started marveling at what could be the possible extension of this gradation - reservations in elevators and reservations in the gymnasium. Some people have also gone to the extent of imagining reservations in the wash-room and walking passages too. It was fun to see everyone laughing out loud at the rationale given by a colleague for washroom reservations - people at the higher cadre are typically of the elder generation and with age and diabetes they would have tendency to take frequent leaks!

On a serious note, I understand that the crux of the resentment is nothing but the fact that we are not acceptable to situations where the rights / privileges given to us are revoked or withdrawn. Had the same policy been there since the inception of the organisation, how many would have revolted or retaliated? This instant issue is actually an extension of what applies in our personal lives - how uncomfortable and choked we feel if people who give us certain privileges and rights to their lives / decisions / choices / preferences, revoke those privileges and rights all of a sudden and out of the blue? I guess, it is always better and comfortable not to have such privileges sooner than run the risk of being deprived and feel ackward.

It goes without saying that planning since inception of an organisation should be based on the understanding of human psyche, more than anyting else. This, for sure, goes a long way in making a great organisation.

Walk and talk...but don't drive and talk!

From November 1, 2009, Mumbai Traffic Police has banned the usage of cell phones while driving. They have started impounding the Driving License (DL) of errant drivers, who need to produce themselves before the Court and in case the Court is not satisfied with the genuineness of attending the call for emergency reasons, the DL is to be sent to the concerned RTO for making appropriate notings against the DL registration.

Yesterday, I just managed to save myself from this ordeal. To begin with, I must clarify that I make it a point not to make or receive phone calls while driving and ensure that I park the vehicle in case I need to attend a call. Sometimes though, if the call is urgent and it's difficult to park the vehicle to attend the call, I receive the call and utter "I'm driving, call u back in a while!" and hang up. I have also completely ceased to reply to any sms while driving.

But yesterday in the evening, I was stuck in traffic (no movement at all) for over 15 minutes near Safed Pool and my cell phone's ringtone played on - it was an expected and urgent call. Leave apart parking the car, I was not even in a position to move by a centimeter, it was a bumper to bumper situation. As it was destined, I received the call and even before I uttered anything, the car ahead of mine moved a bit and I saw 2 traffic sergeants staring at me. I uttered "calling you back" in the phone while one of the sergeants was waving his hand asking me to get the car aside. I realised, I was in trouble and chanted my mantra - "when in trouble, keep cool!". The sergeant guided me to a path 100 metres ahead where I parked the car and got down. Here follows the conversation:

Me: Yes, sir. How can I help you?

Sergeant (S): DL please.

Me: Sir, there was so much traffic that I did not have any place to park to attend the call. And you had seen that I hung up after saying "calling you back".

S: Receiving the call is an offence. DL please.

Me: Sir, I understand that. (handed over my business card) But you would appreciate that I am also a public servant and I expect your co-operation.

S (glanced at both sides of my b-card, one printed in Hindi and the other in English and his tone mellowed down): Sir, you'll have to deposit the DL, it's my duty.

"He has mellowed down and is addressing me as 'Sir' now; I guess, he can be managed and I need to act authoritatively now" I said to myself and handed over the DL.

S: Oh, West Bengal license. It'll have to go to that RTO for checking your records.

Me: I do not want to submit my DL. Please tell me what can I do for you and what you can do for me.

S: (started scribbling something on his challan pad) Sir, I have to meet my targets and I cannot do anything.

Me: I do not get time on weekdays so I do not want to submit my DL. I would prefer paying you the fine in cash now.

S (stopped scribbling and took out a a bundle of DLs from his pocket and started counting them): Sir, these are just 12. I have to make at least 20 cases to meet my target for the day.

Me: It's a weekend and it's just 4 pm now. By 8, you would easily find 8 more victims. You need to help me out.

S: Sir, all I can do is change the case and make it a 'no parking case' and you can collect your DL directly from Powai Police Station on Monday. I guess, you stay in Raheja or Nahar.

Me (wOw, this guy is smart - knows my current address despite the DL bearing my Kolkata address): Raheja Vihar. But I do not get time on weekdays and I do not want to get into that hassle. And if I have to send anyone from my office in BKC, you know how things in a sarkari office are. Can we settle it in cash now itself? I'm in a hurry, please.

S: Let's sit in the car. 

We sat in the car; I put on the ignition, turned on the air-conditioner and handed him the bottle of water which I invariably always carry. He sipped around 200 ml, placed the bottle back and asked me to drive towards the way to Kaju Pada road; Thereafter, I was asked to park at a place where there wasn't much crowd.

S: Sir, the fine for using cell phone is very high.

I took out a Rs. 100 note and handed it to him (wish I had currency of half it's denomination).

S: Sirr....(I interrupted!)

Me: I know the fine is Rs. 100 only and this is okay. And if I can be of any help to you in future, you can call me on the numbers mentioned on my card. Btw, I forgot to ask you your name.

S (handing over my DL to me): Vivek Sir, I'm Jadhav and I'm at Powai Police Station when not on field duty! We'll see each other again.

Me (wondered, "he would've been some Yadav but has changed it to Jadhav just to escape the vandalism of a certain regional political party :p"): Thank you, but I do not really wish to see you for this same reason again.

He...he...he....both of us giggled and he got out of the car. I drove ahead!



Okay, I know what I did was not the appropriate thing to do - I actually bribed Mr. Jadhav. But then, the rationale behind the same is that in a busy city life, why do I need to go from post to pillar to pay the same amount which I can actually settle upfront at the spot? Why doesn't the Government come out with a system for spot fine payments instead and increase the fine amount considerably to curb offences? Perhaps, the only reason I can figure out is - "How else would such Mr. Jadhavs and his colleagues make a killing, then?"

Jinke apne ghar sheeshay ke hon....

Had captured this shot on my way to town last Saturday. After yesterday's hooliganism of Shiv Sena's men at IBN Lokmat offices, it is apt to say "Mr. Thackeray,  jinke apne ghar sheeshay ke hon, woh dusron par pathar nahi phenka karte!"

जिनके अपने घर शीशे के हों, वोह दूसरों पर पत्थर नहीं फेंका करते|

Fly, fly...

A beautiful shot, captured last weekend (currently serves as my desktop wallpaper). The pic reminds me of Celine Dion's Fly, Fly....

Fly, fly little wing

Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again.......

The Parrots

A few shots of my new-found buddies who are a good sight to watch from my room's window. 

here I am...

this is me...

there's no where else on earth I'd rather be...

here we are - still goin' strong...

right here in the place where we belong...

here I am - next to you...and suddenly the world is all brand new!

I'm sorry!

"I'm sorry", including all it's variants ("...really sorry", "...extremely sorry", "...sooo sorry", or simply "sorie"), is the most astounding statement in English language. Yes, more astounding than even "I love you" because how often people are even sorry for loving someone.

Most often the statement -"I'm sorry"- is perceived as a magic mantra, by chanting which, all what one intends to undo is undone for ever. To my techie mind, that sounds like the closest real-life replica of the 'ctrl+z' function - commit a mistake / error / blunder and just undo it - wOw! Wish life were as simple and easy as that, but it's not, unfortunately.

The only merit I find in the statement is that it makes one feel that someone is concerned about you and has hence bothered to make that statement, at all, and a sorry serves it's purpose only if the mistake is unintentional. But does it surmount the misery, pain, hurt, loss, distress, anguish, trauma, suffering, whatever, caused? Is it the panacea which cures all ills?

Moreover, is it so easy to forgive people just by hearing them chant that mantra? And even if we do, can we forget the instances for which they were sorry? Extremely difficult, if not impossible, for 'mango people' like us to do either. That's why they say - you feel like God when you forgive someone. But how often can we play God? - not always, not too often, not everyday, not until eternity!

More importantly, do people even think and realise their mistake before they make that statement? And if at all they do, what course of action do they take not commit the same one, if not any, again? All that most do is - gear up to be sorry yet again!

To conclude, I'm reminded of the dialogue from the movie 'Sex and the City' - Steve is all about the "I'm sorry". "I'm sorry" e-mails, "I'm sorry" voice mails, "I'm sorry" flowers, "I'm sorry" cards. How about, don't do anything to be "I'm sorry" for?

Beyond region and religion

Having read Chetan Bhagat's '2 states' recently, I pondered over a few things. Despite there being a lot of critics about the book, I somehow liked a few nuances and messages which the book delivers - the most important being - moving beyond region and religion and having an integrated India. Of course, I do not buy the idea of making love to a Madrasi (read: Tamil Brahmin girl) to unite our country, but certainly it's time that we Indians get over our biases of region (different states of India) and religion.

The words of my Hindi teacher at school (when I was in eighth standard), Mrs. Kaur, still distinctly ring in my ears - "अगर कोई आपसे पूछे की आप कौन सी जाती के है तो कहियेगा - हम मानव जाती के है!" - "if someone ever asks your religion or caste, tell them it's HUMANITY!"

Of course, Mr. Raj Thakery would not like this, but the current captain of the Indian cricket team is a so-called bhaiya from Ranchi. Does any marathi manoos detest our Dhoni? Did we ever think that Sachin 'the God' Tendulkar was a marathi manoos when he scored past 17k ODI runs with a fantastic (yet match-losing) knock of 175 against the Aussies? I understand that cricket, per se, is a religion in India but why can't we be sportsmen enough to give the same acceptance to different regions and religions in all spheres of our lives?

I know we're becoming more and more acceptable to this view, of late. As my boss narrated one day-"Vivek, when I go overseas and see any Indian there, I do not stamp him/her as a Bong, Punjabi, South Indian, or Kashmir, but purely as an Indian."

Perhaps, in our hearts we are still Indians first and that's the only reason why our country is still integrated and not divided / scattered into countless individual countries despite the varied differences across states. But at times, we do falter, and that is what we need to address. Makes me pray - "into that heaven of freedom my Father, let my country awake".

Answers to difficult questions

Whenever I call up the customer care centre number of my service providers and ask the customer care representative any complicated or difficult questions pertaining to the deficiency in service, I get a few typical responses:

(i) Sir, we are extremely sorry but you can get that information only at our retail outlet.

(ii) Sir, our system is very slow at the moment - please call up after sometime and check back.

(iii) Sir, our server is not able to retrieve the information at the moment.

(iv) Sir, our IT system is undergoing maintenance activities and hence I would not be able to help you at the moment.

(v) Sir, our servers are being upgraded, so the information is not available.

Probably, they've been trained to answer that way when they do not know the answer. But in real life situations, when we come across friends and acquaintances and ask them complicated or difficult questions which they want to avoid, how do they react or answer? Here are the top-5 responses which I keep coming across:

(i) Dunno!

(ii) I'm not sure.

(iii) I've never thought in that direction.

(iv) I'll think over and let you know.

(v) I have no idea.

Sometimes these are indeed genuine and true answers but often it's difficult to separate the grain from the chaff. As the idiom goes - "there are no difficult questions, only difficult answers" - indeed, I find these answers difficult to understand and comprehend.

SUBWAY - SUBstandard!

Strangely,  I visited SUBWAY twice in the last 4 days and both the experiences were so contrasting. Tuesday's experience at SUBWAY (Hiranandani Gardens, Powai) was a good one but today's (Friday) experience was a horrendous one when I went to the SUBWAY at Bandra Kurla Complex (BKC), Bandra (East).

The reasons for this unsatisfactory experience are:

Firstly, unlike other Subway outlets, which have separate counters serving Vegetarian and Non-vegetarian orders, there was just a single counter serving both.

Secondly, I noticed that the guy who was stuffing the sub sandwiches did not change the gloves which  he was wearing even though he was almost alternatively processing a veg and a non-veg order. On noticing that he had processed a non-vegetarian order, stuffing a Tuna in the sub, just before he started to stuff the aloo patty in my sub, without changing the gloves, I got irked and asked the guy what kind of practice it was. Though he apologised and changed his gloves and made a fresh sub for me on being asked to do so, I was utterly disappointed with the incident. I guess, this is a usual practice at that particular outlet and of which, I'm sure, most vegetarians and hygiene conscious people like me would detest.

Thirdly, I am yet to understand the reason for variation in pricing for the same subs at two different outlets in the same city! The prices of Aloo Patty and Paneer Tikka at the BKC outlet were Rs.110 each while the same cost Rs. 100 each at the Hiranandani Outlet, which is more spacious and plush! There were variations in the prices of other menu items as well. What kind of policy is this?

It is high time for Subway Restaurants to focus more on their processes and quality as well as standardisation. I do not think too many Indians would be interested in accepting anything SUBstandard for long!

Customer is King!

I have this uncanny habit of almost always filling up the feedback form which is handed over at restaurants or coffee shops or fuel stations or even online shopping websites. As an extension to this habit I also make sure to give a feedback to the service providers whose services I use whenever I face any problem with their services and also whenever I exceptionally like something about their services. Given my experience, most often a feedback ensures that any deficiency in the service is abated. In fact, after hearing the many stories of how effective my feedback has been, a buddy of mine has suggested me start a professional service of reviewing and providing feedback on various services to service providers for a fee. On the other side, there is another friend who is still adamant that "feedbacks are just for the sake of a formality".

Anyway, this recent experience of mine at the R-City Mall (Ghatkopar) is yet another saga of how important a feedback is and how organisations are actually striving to keep their customers happy.

I've been regularly visiting R-City Mall for the last few months but this Sunday's experience was an unfortunate one. While entering the Mall I learnt that the parking has been made a paid parking and I had to park my car on level 'H' (8th floor) given the rush of cars due to the recently opened Big Cinemas. However, while I was exiting, it took me over 35 minutes to reach the parking payment kiosk. It was a real pain to move so slow in a downhill ramp. Further, given the tariff structure of parking I had to pay the parking fee for an additional hour just because I took so much time to exit the parking bay because of improper management of Metro Parking. I was completely dissatisfied with the experience. I have been to other malls across the city and they surely have better parking management and charge cheaper parking rates.

The same day, after returning home I sent a mail narrating the above experience to Mr. Siddharth Sahgal (Centre Director, R City) and urged him to take appropriate and prompt actions to resolve the situation. To my surprise, early next morning I received a mail from Mr. Sahgal assuring that the bottlenecks would be resolved. Subsequently, I received a call from Ms. Jyoti from R-City apologising for the inconvenience caused and stating that they've taken up the matter with Metro parking (the vendor who manages the parking system of the mall). Further, I was sent a bouquet of flowers from the management of R-City.

Surely, I am overwhelmed by the pro-activeness of the mall's management team and they have indeed made me feel like a King!

Wake me up when September ends!

The last few weeks have been a potpourri of an experience and the hectic schedule and the pace at which things have moved have precisely been the reasons why I haven't been able to blog for long. To sum up, my experiences over the last one month have varied:

(i) from numerous visits to hospitals, clinics and chemists to an almost equivalent number of visits to ice-cream parlours in the city;

(ii) from surviving a stampede at Lal Baugcha Raja to visiting the Siddhi Vinayak temple in almost complete isolation;

(iii) from struggling with the office lunch to get my minimum calorific requirements to hoarding loads of calories by having pizzas for lunch as much as thrice a week;

(iv) from working late at office for almost the entire month to sneaking out for a four hour lunch session during office hours;

(v) from attending to a galore of guests at home and craving for my personal space to being in complete isolation and craving for people around me;

(vi) from being in the clouds at Malsej Ghat to sweating around in the streets of Ghatkopar;

(vii) from a failed attempt to watch Abhishek and Ash shooting for Ravana to sharing the elevator with Bobby Deol and his family adn not even greeting him with a 'Hello';

(viii) from making up an altercation with a friend over lunch to having an altercation with another friend after a lunch;

(ix) from attending a training on structured investment products at BSE to struggling with taxation matters of the family;

(x) from quarelling with the car mechanic and crying foul over their customer care services to being sent flowers by the management of a Shopping Mall for giving them a feedback on their services;

(xi) from eating street food in the by-lanes of suburban Mumbai to being at Leopold's and Theobroma in the heart of the town;

(xii) from enjoying the loud and heavy downpour of a retreating monsoon to suffering the heat and humidity of this peculiar season;

(xiii) from struggling with the gears and pedals for hours in the traffic to driving at over 100 kmph in the city.

But for now I want to enjoy this extended Dussera weekend by sleeping over and wish to be woken up only when September ends!

Technology - complexity of simplicity!

I'm an ardent admirer of technology (flair for technology as I coined it!) - it makes our work easier and simpler. But sometime, making things simpler can end up creating complexity. My recent experience with the Jet Lite website rightly demonstrates so.

The website provides the facility to check Flight Status but thanks to the complexity they've created (probably to make things simpler), I was unable to use it.

I wanted to check the status of a flight which was scheduled to land at Kolkata Airport (CCU) at 2340 hours. So, I searched for Arrivals by Airport and selected the date and the airport from the drop-down list. Now comes the complicated part - I had to select the earliest time and latest time (both in hours and both drop-downs providing numbers from 00 to 23). Since I wanted to check the flight status between 23 hours and 00 hours, I selected the options accordingly.

Bleep - "Choose latest time greater than earliest time" - erupted the error in red!

"Preposterous!" - I exclaimed. The site has a validation script which prevents entering the latest time lesser than the earliest time and hence preventing me from checking the status of any flight scheduled between 2300 hours and 2359 hours! Thank you Mr. IT Guy who programmed the script!

I intend to post a link to this post as a feedback to Jet Lite (since the site does not accept a feedback more than 200 characters - another complexity!). Hope they fix up the bug(s) soon!

Two wrongs make a right!

Mathematically, two negatives (multiplied) make a positive. But do two mistakes or two wrongs make a right? A recent incident has made me ponder over this theory.

It was evening and I was about to leave office, waiting for the elevator in the lobby when I heard a senior colleague (SC) calling, "Vivek, which car do u have - is it an 800?".

Me: "I drive a Wagon-R, any problem, ma'am?"

SC: "No, I've left my car key inside the car (Mistake no. 1), just wanted to check if some other key could help. Do you know anyone with an 800?"

Me: "XYZ and PQR bring 800 to office, but they would've left office by now. We can try using my key or else I know how to open the door using a ruler - let me see if I can help you out."

We went to the lower basement taking along a chauffeur who drove an 800 and had met us in the upper basement.

A few tries with the two keys on both the front doors and the boot lid did not help. The only course left was to slit open the rubber lining on the window and use a ruler to unlock the door.

I was about to go to my cubicle to get a ruler when the chauffeur who was accompanying us shouted - "The rear door is open, you forgot to lock it madam!" (Mistake no. 2)

"wOw, what a blunder!", I said to myself with a smile on my face and bid farewell to the SC.

Coming upstairs to the upper basement I mused over the incident and muttered, "Two mistakes can actually make a right!"

Wish life was indeed that way - two wrongs/mistakes making a right!

Top 13 food items I miss from Kolkata

Mumbai is a good city and I truly like it. But when it comes to food (apart from ice-creams), I can hardly compare it with Kolkata. After having left Kolkata 13 months ago, here are the top 13 (in no particular order) food items I miss from Kolkata:

1. Bhel Puri @ Belurmath.
2. Garam Samosa and Faluda Kulfi @ Tiwari Sweets [counted as 2 separate food items].

3. Garam Rosogullas at night from Shreedhar (local bengali sweet shop near my place).
4. Pure veg dinner @ Gangaur (Park Street).
5. Doodh-ThumbsUp @ Bhawanipur (Sardarji's dhaba beside the gurudwara).
6. Sabji Kachori and Jalebi @ Sharma's in Bhawanipur [counted as 2 separate food items].
7. Chole Bhature @ Mission Cafe.
8. Chilla @ Vardaan.
9. Pav-bhaji @ Mayaram and Kanishka.
10. 'As You Like It' ice-cream @ India's Hobby Centre (Park Street).
11. and finally....Puchka (pani puri, as called in Mumbai) @ any damn place in Kolkata.

Am I missing something? Not in the list - but I'm missing the people with whom I used to have these food items (my friends and family members). I'm sure without them these would have never tasted soo good!

An agnostic - I am!

A buddy of mine had felt offended after reading the fact that I call myself an agnostic. There might be some other souls too who might be incorrectly interpreting my agnosticism. So, here is the version of the clarification which I had mailed to my buddy:

Etymologically, an agnostic is a person who claims that they cannot have true knowledge about the existence of God (but does not deny that God might exist).

Of course, I believe (a belief - which is a vague idea in which some confidence is placed,  is different from knowledge - which is the  psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning) in the existence of a Supreme Authority (called by whatever name) but unlike most ignorant people (I call them so), I do not claim to have true knowledge about the existence of God.

The version which we hear about God in our everyday lives is a result of  religious prejudices. Why else would Allah, Jesus, Guru Tej Bahadur, Rama, et al. have different origins? Why do we have different versions of God for different religions (I often associate such version with technology only - different operating systems for different micro processors - Mac or Windows; Symbian or Android; etc.)? And for a person like me who believes in the religion of humanity - have we ever heard the name of the 'God of Humanity'? Perhaps, we would never hear it 'coz that God lies in the good deeds we do -  be it a gesture of kindness, a smile with purity or even some words of truthfulness. A movie addict like you would appreciate the monologue from Angels and Demons in the same context: "Religion is flawed because man is flawed" - this is precisely the contention that I have.

Further, I also see my parents as a manifestation of God. And there are so many other people and things with whom I can relate the so-called Godliness (have been hearing the idiom 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness' from my early childhood).

Why is there is plethora of confusion when we actually think about the existence of God? I do not have the answers! Hence, I call myself an agnostic.

i-Pill - boon or bane?

"Q. What are the two things that have beaten the economic downturn in India? A. IPL and i-Pill!" - aptly read the sms that I had received a couple of months ago. But the recent splurge in the promotional activities (numerous TV commercial during prime time, advertisements on Meru Cabs, slideshows on the advertising LCDs at Cafe Coffee Day, hoardings at prominent crossings and bus stops, jingles on FM radio channels, etc.) of i-Pill make me wonder something else - Is i-Pill promoting more unprotected and unsafe sex than preventing unwanted conception? Is i-Pill promoting more of unplanned sex amongst youth? What really could be the repercussions if my doubts are valid, given the fact that India is already among the front-runners of the number of HIV +ve cases?

Can the safety warning (which is hardly legible on the i-Pill website and reads - Important safety aspects: i-pill is neither a regular contraceptive nor an abortion pill. It is not a substitute for condoms and does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS.) be made a mandatory part of any promotional activity for all similar products?

Driving in Mumbai

It's been almost a year that I've been driving in Mumbai but the experience in the last few monsoon weeks has been the worst of all. The other day I drove for over five and a half hours (in three sessions- - Powai to BKC to Jogeshwari [via Powai] and back to Powai), travelling a distance of less than 50 kms. And day before yesterday (Sunday), I nearly escaped a fatal accident (near Crawford Market) - a taxi driver hit on the front bumper of my car b'coz the wipers of the cab were not working properly.

While pondering over the incident (a speeding taxi hitting the car on the right side), the following thoughts, of what driving in Mumbai actually is, struck my mind:

1. No matter how well you drive, there would always be a few errant drivers to ensure that your car has a few scratches and dents.

2. Even if you drive recklessly at times, there would be a few souls who would ensure saving their as well as your vehicle from damage.

3. 'Bumper to bumper driving' is a literal expression.

4. Bumpers are meant for scratches and dents. You can see a car without any scratches on the bumpers only in a showroom.

5. Once in a while you would come across speed-breakers to make you realize that your car needs some extra ground clearance and that an SUV is actually meant for cities in India.

6. Maintain safe distance from female drivers (only when they are driving). With little observation, you can invariably identify a car parked by a female driver.

7. Cars used by motor training schools and those having the 'L' sticker have every right to halt in the middle of the road, that too when you least expect them to.

8. Car manufacturers have provided the flexibility of adjusting the wiper speed but the flexibility of intensity of showers in Mumbai can obviously beat them.

9. In crowded streets, the side mirrors of the vehicle serve the purpose of honking.

10. You'll come across a traffic police, ready to be bribed, at least once every quarter.

11. The shortest route generally takes the longest time to cover.

Beauty

I had gone out for lunch with a few office colleagues at Barbeque Nation (Bandra/Khar (West), Mumbai) a few day ago. As usual, there were a few good looking girls in the restaurant. Out of the blue, a female colleague popped a question - "What is BEAUTY?" to the  three males in the group (including myself). I was busy savouring the desserts and did not really want to participate in this abstract conversation but it was difficult to escape the continuous badgering. I recollected the short story which I had written a few years ago, showcasing how beauty is not what you see but what you feel and what you believe. Here it goes:

“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”- an idiomatic phrase which you might have heard, read and even spoken a thousand times before, but what follows is a tale that you might be reading for the first time. Let me take you to Tiny Tots, a kindergarten school in South Kolkata. One early morning, soon after the classes for the children had begun, a worried mother rushed to the entrance of the school with a bottle of milk in her solicitous hands. On being questioned by the school-maid the reason for her anxiety, she reasoned that her daughter had forgotten to have the milk in the morning breakfast and so she has brought the same for her to have it now. The maid offered to help her by asking her daughter’s name so that she would give the bottle of milk to her. To this, the mother, peeping through the fence which barricaded the garden where the children were all playing, replied, with a smile on her face, that she wanted the bottle of milk to be given to the “most beautiful child” in the school. Yes, her daughter was a true cherub - curly blonde hair, rosy lips, chubby cheeks, and blue eyes!

But the phrase “most beautiful child” somehow struck the maid in a divergent overtone which instigated her to restate in an appalling tone– “most beautiful child!” The mother, with the smile still on her face, replied in the affirmative – “Yes, please give this bottle to the ‘most beautiful child’ and let her have it as I watch through the fence”. The maid passed through the fence to enter the garden, went near a group of children and handed the bottle to a clumsy, dark complexioned little girl and let her have the milk. The mother, watching through the fence, got this blow out of the water and her smiling face deformed into a tragic face. Barely, had her wide-opened eyes blinked when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. It was the hand of the principal of the school. She smiled at the mother and said, “The girl drinking milk from the bottle is the maid’s daughter. To every mother, her child is the ‘most beautiful child’ of all”.

Beauty, after all, is not just what you see but what you feel and what you believe! 

Prized possessions

I have a bad handwriting yet a pen has always been an object of admiration and fascination for me. The latest additions to my collection include a Parker Sonnet Silver Fougére Fountain Pen and a Waterman Hemisphere Mars Black Gold Trims Fountain Pen (pics below).

These recent gifts have surely become my prized possessions but what I observe in deep thought is what makes an object a prized possession for a person? Is it the monetary value which is tagged to that object? Or the utility of that object in a person's life? Or the importance of the person who has gifted that object? Or is it the envy of friends, neighbours and the world for that object?

Somehow, for me all my belongings have been my prized possessions, be it the first TV video game my mom got for me way back in 1994 (was as good as new when I gifted it to my nephew a year ago) or the pencil box which I started using when I was in the second standard (and I still have and use) or the ordinary handkerchief which I use everyday.

Most of my acquaintances find this strikingly odd and unusual. But I truly treasure and take pride of ownership of all my belongings, no matter how cheap or even obsolete they might be!

Is it my 'moh, maya'? Certainly not! I can live without these objects and can even gift them  to people I want to but does this necessarily mean that I need not classify them as my prized possessions? I would prefer leaving that unanswered.

Anyway, after these two recent prized possessions, I'm craving for a Montblanc StarWalker now! :)

Lifetime validity on shoe-polishing service - what an !dea, sirjee!

I usually get my shoes polished by a professional (a cobbler, as most people call) once in a week before reaching office. It's been around a year now that I've been availing the services of the same guy (who sits on a footpath opposite to Citibank, BKC).

This story actually started around 2 weeks ago when I was getting my shoes polished by this same man (appears to be over 50). In a grim disposition, he sought my help. He was unwell and wanted to see a doctor but had no money since it was just the beginning of the day. He requested me to give Rs.20 which he would adjust towards future services and I acceded to his request.

Thanks to the Mumbai rains, today I went for getting my shoes polished after two weeks. The guy greeted me and I asked him about his health. He said that all his earnings have been expensed towards his medical treatment (madicines and pathological tests) and that now he has also run out of all materials (polish, cream, nails, threads, etc. ) which he requires to carry on his profession. He showed me the empty containers and said that there hasn't been much business because of the rains and that one day he got drenched in the rains and that had made his condition worse.

I asked him - "why do you consume alcohol when you are unwell?" He replied that it's been 3 months that he has quit drinking and he doesn't even have money to eat and feed his family. Not that I believed his story and was moved by it, but his voice definitely evidenced some pain. He said that he was thankful for the Rs.20 I had given him earlier but asked me to advance him a further Rs.50. I inquisitively asked, "And how and by when do you intend to repay that to me?" He said that he would provide me his services for a lifetime without any charge! It actually takes either a lot of guts or complete insanity, to make such a statement! I am yet to figure out the reason in the instant case but the statement indeed impressed me and I paid him Rs.50/-

I really do not know whether he would keep his words or not and whether I would ever pay him again for his services or not but the idea of having a lifetime validity on shoe-polishing services (or any other service for that matter) was worth exploring at a cost of Rs.50!

Not just that, but the other day I was watching a soap on TV. A lady and her daughter were being eve-teased and they were so helpless since no one around bothered what was happening. The husband attributed this to his own behaviour - "I have also been such a silent spectator whenever I encountered such situations. How can I do that and expect people to help my wife and daughter now?"

Certainly, there is some reality in the man's statement. Why do we expect others to help us when by ourselves we shirk away from people who need our help? Something definitely worth pondering!

Aptly, today's incident made me recollect the metaphor by Shakespeare - "not on thy SOLE, but on thy SOUL"!

ECG of LIfe!

Thanks to my whims and fancies, recently, I got myslef into some trouble and botheration which was uncalled for. Given my traits and behaviour, this wasn't something new for me since that is how I have grown-up and now I have started accepting such situations as part of the routine life. But my indifference to the grave situation was certainly a cause of concern for my well-wishers, and it seemed difficult for them to accept my indifference.

And then I shared the analogy of the ECG (ElectroCardioGram). Probably, we all have seen the ECG of the heart. How does it appear to be - ridges and troughs or ups and downs (in medical terminlogy, represented by the P, Q, R, S, and T waves). And what does the ECG show when a person is dead - a constant straight line!

The situation is similar to what keeps happening in our day to day lives. We all desire stability, which is nothing but a CONSTANT STRAIGHT LINE - it implies DEATH! Perhaps someday we would appreciate that the ups and downs are symbolic of the existence of a normal and healthy life. Then only we would be able to accept the so-called bad or troubled phases of life as a routine activity.

Real Life?

The other day I was having a discussion with my friend how most people keep thinking that real life would begin after they do this...achieve that...complete this...purchase that...etc. And I recollected something which I had read online and which answered the question - Real Life?

Here it goes (with some modifications to the one I had found online):

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that this was my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. Today I have so many reasons to be happy but I no longer need reasons to be happy. Happiness has now become my way of life! And I'M LIVIN' IT! :)

Gol Maal Hai!

Mumbai is a city of its kind and there is no gainsaying to the fact that one would learn some smartness (not just in terms of fashion but in terms of common sense too) just by living in this city. Or better put, just by the sheer shrewdness of some people.

Here are two incidents which have further reinforced my belief not to trust people and be really cautious when it comes to money matters (no matter how small or large the sum is)!

Incident No. 1: I purchased an article (say 'X' - you may start making wild guesses what it was) and the cashier gave me an invoice (written in ink) to make the payment. The price tag of the article read Rs.1455/- and the invoice mentioned the same. Further, VAT (Value Added Tax) @ 4% was added and the total amount payable was mentioned as Rs. 1542/-. Fortunately (you may call it so) or otherwise (my knack with numbers-not bragging), it seemed odd to me (total amount should've been Rs.1513/-) and I decided to verify the calculation. It turned out that the cashier had computed VAT at 6% (no such VAT slab exists) though the percentage mentioned was 4%.

After a brief altercation, the guy admitted his mistake and reduced the bill amount by Rs. 29/-. It's not too large an amount, but the practice vexed me. The shopkeeper might be habitually marking-up the VAT amount since most people do not really check the tax amount, and in return be duping the tax authorities as well his customers.

The calculation in case of Service Tax with Education Cess (including secondary and higher education cess) is a bit more complicated because of the decimals in the percentage. So, the scope of such duping might be greater.

Moral: Check the computation of any taxes in your invoice properly.

Incident No. 2: I had ordered some pizzas (3 non-veg of Rs. and 3 veg) for an office treat and the offer was that I would get a 50% off on every second pizza I order (50% off on the value of the pizza with an equal or lower price). The guy who received the order over phone told me that he would compute the total and call up in a while. Again, the amount which he told me seemed a bit unobvious (call it fortune, instinct, or the 'knack') and I asked for a detailed break-up. Since it was a detailed calculation, I took out a calculator and found that the bill amount was marked-up by Rs.25 - again not too large an amount but still why should I pay even a penny more?

I asked the guy on phone to take out a calculator and started instructing ...a + b + c + d +.... and he admitted to his mistake.

Of course, he apologised and assured me that he would reduce the bill amount by Rs.25/-. I thought of ignoring this as a one off incident but my colleagues apprised me that usually they have some problem with the billing amount when they come out with offers.

Moral: No matter how reputed a brand name might be, there is always a possibility for such goof-ups. Please ensure that you do some calculation when ordering things over phone.

There might be many other such instances which keep happening everyday in our lives and they go unnoticed...err...we get duped!

Ritual vs Superstition

Yesterday, I was having a discussion on the existence of rituals with a friend of mine.

Every community follows certain rituals and most people do not know why they follow. The tragedy is that they do not even try to seek answers or explanations or rationale behind them following those rituals...and sometimes superstitions!

In fact, etymologically, rationale is what distinguishes a ritual from a superstition. If the practice is backed by logic and is rational then you call it a ritual else a superstition. But then, rationality itself is something very abstract and subjective, so, I would not like to enter that territory of discussion.

I simply call it a belief system. And for most souls, either convenience or fear is the driving force behind their belief system. So, rationality and logic takes a back seat when people start following things based on what they've seen their ancestors doing and their priests preaching, without introspecting or questioning.

Here's a nice and apt story about how we start following certain rituals...GURU AND THE CAT

When the guru sat down to worship each evening the ashram cat would get in the way and distract the worshipers. So he ordered that the cat be tied up during evening worship.

Long after the guru died, the cat continued to be tied during the evening worship. And when the cat eventually died, another cat was brought to the ashram so that it could be duly tied during evening worship.

Centuries later learned treatises were written by the guru's disciples on the essential role of the tied cat in all properly conducted evening worship.

So, what do we call it - a ritual or a superstition? And where and how do we strike the right balance (as the picture depicts)?

NANO or No! No!

From the specs and the reviews that I have been reading and watching, Tata Nano appears to be a nice car (at the given pricing). I must say that I'm impressed, as are so many other Indians and people around the world. But if I see through the strategy of Tata Motors for selling the car (Nano), I'm a bit perturbed. The booking amount is not Rs.2,999/- but ranges from Rs.95,000/- to Rs.1,40,000/-. You pay Rs.2,999/- only when you want to get the vehicle financed (and the balance booking amount would be paid by the financing institution). Ever heard making 70% payment for booking a car? Other auto companies book a car for you for as low as Rs.1,000/-, then why is Tata Motors asking you to cough up such a huge advance payment?

We are all aware that Tata Motors is in a financial havoc. Thanks to its acquisition of JLR, the dwindling automobile demand globally, and a failed Rights Issue in the Indian Capital Markets to raise funds, Tata Motors is in desperate need of cash to meet its interest obligations and working capital requirements. Nano seems to be the last ray of hope for Tata Motors to raise cash in this recessionary global scenario. Tata Motors has decided to sell the Nano to randomly chosen 1 lakh customers, which implies raising anything ranging between Rs.950 million to Rs. 1400 million (this is only the amount raised from one lakh customers who would be getting the cars, the other who do not get the cars would get the refund after 120 days from the end of the booking period, so the interest free funds available for this period of 4 months would provide additional working capital). The amount raised fro the sale of application forms (Rs.300 each), assuming 2 lakh forms are sold, would add another 60 million to the kitty. This, Tata Motor assumes would solve all their impending problems.

But would this last ray of hope bring sunlight to Tata Motors? Is the Indian 'aam aadmi' willing to pay Rupees ONE LAKH as an advance booking amount? Would there be ONE LAKH such people? The date of delivery of the car is also uncertain - the deliveries would start from July 2009, but would be completed by the end of March 2010. Would the applicants be paid interest on the booking amount in case the cars are not delivered to them in July itself? The questions are yet to be answered by Tata Motors...

From my little understanding of how the Indian consumers behave, all that I can say is that they always prefer to make a low initial payment to own any asset. That, I believe, was the reason for the instant success of Reliance India Mobile (just Rs. 500 for a cell phone). Is the Rs.2,999 financing scheme trying to answer that? Would the Indian consumers be able to look through thsi gimmick? Would booking a Nano now be a rational decision? No idea! All that I can say is that we have behaved irrationally, sometime or the other in our lives! Lets wait and watch, how the 'aam aadmi' behaves this time!

Merrill Lynch's Outlook 2009!

"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." - Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)

It was strange to see a new banner on the homepage of Merrill Lynch's website (http://www.ml.com) captioned 'OUTLOOK 2009 - What's Next for the Markets & the Economy - Merrill Lynch's annual look at the year ahead offers expert insights and actionable investment ideas to help you manage today's markets and prepare for better times ahead."

Should I call it ridiculous? ML was not able to provide itself with a realistic outlook of its own financial position and risk management efficiency, and it is now trying to predict how the global markets would be in the year ahead. How many people are going to swallow it?

No doubt, ML has now been acquired by Bank of America, but I still feel that the confidence which has been lost would take a lot of time to be rebuilt. The current global situation has further deteriorated the investor confidence and the wounds would take a long time to heal.

All I can believe that this must be exercise to rebuild confidence in the market about the efficiency of research provided by ML and they have been rather more conservative (and at times a bit balanced with a bit of optimism to ensure that the investors keep investing in the market) in their predictions now so that taking refuge at a later point in time would become easier. Moreover, if the conservative outlook of ML somehow works out in the months to come, ML can surely boast of its research efficiency. All of us, however, genuinely hope that ML's pessimistic outlook doesn't turn out to be true!

Meter Down!

From my experience of living in Mumbai, I can confidently say that at least 6 out of every 10 taxi and auto-rickshaw fare meters in Mumbai appear to be tampered. Of course, the degree of tampering varies, some just with a minor tweak to show a 5-10% variation in fare and some tweaked to the degree of over 100%. How can you get a fare variation of around 30% when you travel the same distance in almost similar traffic conditions each day? It is quite possible in Mumbai, thanks to the tampered taxi and auto meters.

My first experience of being a victim to the tampered meters began in April 2007 when I had come to Mumbai for my summer internship. I used to board a rick from Bandra Station to come to Bandra Kurla Complex (BKC). The variation in fare used to range from Rs.18 to Rs.28. Sounds paltry, but it is not. In such a short distance, the variation under almost similar traffic conditions was almost as high as 50%. had you boarded a rick with a tampered meter for a longer distance, you would have paid almost one and a half times the actual fare, say instead of Rs.100, you would be required to pay Rs.150. 

Sometimes, on scolding and rebuking the rick driver, they used to make a concession....but that happened only sometimes. Most of the times you do not bother to haggle early in the morning before starting your day at work.

Thereafter, I came to Mumbai (for an almost permanent settlement) in June 2008 and the first experience of boarding a cab on a rainy morning from Lokmanya Tilak Terminus (LTT) to Hiranandani Gardens in Powai was a bitter one to start a new life in Mumbai. The fare which I was supposed to pay as per the meter and the rate card was a whooping Rs. 360 and the driver said that he would charge an additional Rs.100 for the luggage which he had to load on the carrier of the cab. He offered me a discount of Rs.10 and asked me to pay a rounded off sum of Rs.450. I do not really know whether the meter was tampered or the rate card which he showed was fake (many a times, cab drivers keep a fake rate card which shows an inflated fare and the passengers are taken for a RIDE). Almost drenched, I was fuming with heat and anger. From whatever little knowledge I had of Mumbai from my previous visits and whatever info I had gathered from surfing the net, the fare should not have been more than Rs.140 in any case. Finally, after a heated argument and a lot of haggling, I paid Rs.250 as a final settlement.

Thereafter, I started traveling by rick from Powai to BKC (via Andheri-Kurla Road), a distance of approx. 10.2 kms and the fare varied from Rs.52 to Rs.90, sometimes due to traffic conditions and most of the times due to tampered meters. I thought to myself, should I start haggling everyday? Unfortunately, I couldn't! 

After a couple of months I got a car and did not prefer to travel by a rick or a cab any longer. But you cannot isolate yourself from public transport facilities completely, especially when you live in a city like Mumbai.

Another encounter with a tampered cab meter of mine finally took place on January 27, 2009 (around 1 am in the morning while I was coming from LTT to Powai. The fare which I was asked to pay using the mid-night chart was Rs. 274.50. While going from Powai to LTT via the same route during day time in comparatively more adverse traffic conditions, I had paid Rs. 89 as the fare. Even adding a premium of 25% for mid-night fare, I should not have been paying more than Rs.125. Also, from my experience of traveling in Mumbai, the cab fare from CST to Powai is around Rs.180, how should I pay Rs.275 in this case?

I thought to myself that there has to be an end to paying inflated fares...so, I finally decided to take the taxi driver to the nearest local police station and settle the case. Initially, the driver thought I was kidding. But when he realised that I was serious, he was willing to come to terms and finally I settled at Rs. 150. I did not want to close the matter here...I was infuriated...How long can we be victimised like this? I finally decided that I should lodge a complaint for this taxi so I started googling for more information about the procedures to lodge the complaint. Thankfully, I have this uncanny habit of noting down taxi and auto registration numbers before boarding them. I lodged a complaint on the website of the Mumbai Traffic Police (http://www.trafficpolicemumbai.org/Complaintform.htm) not really expecting much action, but with a hope (as said, "Ummed pe to duniya kayam hai") that maybe I should at least apprise them (Mumbai Traffic Police) of the common problem which I have faced so many times and which every Mumbaikar faces almost every other day. Fortunately, the Mumbai Traffic Police has sent me an email that they have forwarded my complaint to RTO Wadala where the taxi has been registered and have intimated RTO Wadala to keep me updated of the action being taken in the said matter. RTO Wadala has also sent me an email stating that action has been initiated for my complaint. I hope to receive subsequent communication too, regarding what action has been taken. Thanks, Mumbai Traffic Police.

Lesson 1 - DO NOT TRUST ANYONE! (I've still not completely imbibed this lesson though, but my subsequent experiences keep reinforcing this lesson).

Lesson 2 - Not just the meters can be tampered, but the tariff /rate chart/ card for taxis can also be a fake one with inflated figures. So, it is always advisable that you carry a copy of the tariff card with yourself if you regularly travel in cabs. You may download the tariff card from the following link: http://www.trafficpolicemumbai.org/Taxi%20Tariff%20card.pdf. I have formatted and printed a miniature copy for myself which I carry in my wallet.

Lesson 3 - Try to make it a habit to note down (keep in temporary memory) the taxi's or rick's registration number before you board it. You never know when it might just come in handy. Most taxis and ricks have their registration number on the inner wind-shield or the back of the front seat, so you may note it down even after you've boarded.

Lesson 4 - Make it a habit to file a complaint (it's online and just takes a while) whenever you come across a faulty/tampered meter.

Lesson 5 - Don't lose hope (is the moral of the story)!

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to my blog!

I have always liked to be unconventional....So, way back in 2003, when the world started blogging on blogger.com (Google had not acquired it then), I too had started blogging, but on a different blogging site since I did not like the interface and the customization options provided by blogger. I used to blog at http://www.blogsource.com and unfortunately (I still do not know the reason) the site shut down in 2006. Thereafter, I had been thinking of creating a new blog and had created this one too but never blogged on it.

Now I'm back to blogging and I intend to use this blog to put down my thoughts, views, opinions and experiences. You are most welcome to leave your comments.

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are my own and do not represent any official views of the organisation I work for or any other institution or individual.

Welcome to Vivek Toshniwal's (VT's) Blog!  Keywords: Vivek, Toshniwal, Vivek Toshniwal, VT, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India.